


Distance

by seidouplaydough



Series: Future [1]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Awkwardness, Cheesy, Developing Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Nightmares, Romance, Touken, but i enjoy cheesy mutsurie so, mutsurie, these two are going to be the death of me, this is kinda cheesy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-29
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-15 10:27:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29062797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seidouplaydough/pseuds/seidouplaydough
Summary: Mutsuki is plagued with nightmares of Urie dying, and he just needs to see him. He needs to make sure he's okay. He makes a surprise visit to see the Quinx squad.
Relationships: Mutsuki Tooru/Urie Kuki
Series: Future [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2180721
Comments: 1
Kudos: 16





	1. Chapter 1

_ “Mutsuki,” said the voice on the other end of the phone. _

_ “Hey.” _

_ “How are you?” the voice asked. _

_ “Good.” _

_ Silence. _

_ “When will we get to see you?” _

_ “Urie…” _

_ “It’s been two years.” _

_ Silence. _

_ “We want to see you. Really see you. These phone calls aren’t enough. (I need to see you.)” _

_ Silence again. _

_ “I have to go,” Mutsuki finally said. _

_ Click. _

* * *

That conversation played in Mutsuki’s head all night. He felt horrible, awful. He wanted to see them, he missed them like crazy. He tossed and turned in his bed, replaying the conversation with Urie again, and again, and again.

He sat up, finally giving up the idea of sleep. Urie’s voice was still strong in his mind, the hurt buried deep in his tone that made Mutsuki’s heart hurt.

He sighed, almost like he was surrendering. “Maybe I should… visit them,” he mumbled to himself. Flopping back down on the bed, he stared at the ceiling.

_ “Mutsuki,”  _ he remembered Urie’s voice from the previous call. Just the sound of his voice in his head was enough to make his heart pound. The numbers from his alarm clock that shone through the dark read  _ 5:00 _ .

What else was he going to do? Stay in this house for the rest of his life with little to no human interaction.

_ You’d deserve it. You’ve killed. You’ve done terrible things. You’re grotesque. Disgusting. Disgusting. _

A groan escaped him as he tried to push the voices out of his head. The therapist he had been working with for the past few years had helped slightly, but it still wasn’t enough to undo the years of damage, illness, and horrible things he had done.

Shutting his eyes tightly, he tried thinking of good things. Sleep, he needed to sleep. Sleep… sleep… sleep…

_ Screaming. He heard it as soon as it rang out from the dark. Thunder blasted and drowned it out, but he was able to follow it anyway. The scream was a man… a man…? Urie? “Urie!” Mutsuki screamed out. _

_ He ran through the building, now destroyed, chasing the voice through the halls. It rang again. “Shit. No. No. NO.” As he ran, the screaming grew closer. Then both of them. What was happening? _

_ He finally reached a room. The thunder boomed and lightning struck as he approached the door, turning the knob slowly. _

_ He saw himself. His kagune was out, ripping his friend to shreds. He wasn't screaming anymore. Mutsuki fell to his knees. _

_ The other Mutsuki looked at him, laughing, as he dropped Urie to the ground. A manic smile was plastered on his face as he made his way to Mutsuki. The other Mutsuki picked him up by the throat, piercing him with his kagune. Again. And again. And again. _

_ He dropped him, the other Mutsuki disappearing behind him. Once he was gone, Mutsuki picked himself up, running to the best of his ability to Urie. He knelt beside him, Urie’s blood now all over his hands and his clothes. _

_ There was a chunk of his torso missing, just like what happened with Shirazu. Mutsuki screamed out his name. He didn’t respond or wake up. He didn’t open his eyes. Mutsuki felt his tears, and he brought a bloodied hand to his face to wipe them away. _

Screaming again, but this time, his own. Mutsuki gasped for air, hyperventilating and grabbing his shirt. He needed to see them, and soon.

The next day, he was ready. He called off of work, telling them he was “extremely sick,” and they actually believed him. A suitcase full of clothes was packed and ready to go. He’d have to take a bus to their place, considering he never actually learned how to drive. Plus, he lived around five hours away from them, so walking or riding his bike there was entirely out of the question.

He hadn’t told them he was coming. Was he even wanted there? Of course he was, they asked him all the time.

Five hours passed, and the sun was about to set. He checked the time. 6:00. They should be home.

The bus pulled up to the stop, just one street away from the Chateau. He walked there, a smile forming on his face when he showed up at his old home. Letting out a sigh, Mutsuki walked up the few flights of stairs and knocked on the door,

“Who is that? It’s late,” he heard Saiko’s muffled voice inside.

“I don’t know,” he heard Urie’s voice reply, getting louder as he walked closer. The door opened, light illuminated the hallway and his face. He noticed Urie’s eyes widened, making Mutsuki smile again.

“Hi, Urie.”

_ “So… how is it over there,” said Urie. _

_ “It’s… good. Relaxing, quiet.” Mutsuki replied. _

_ “Good. I’m, uh, glad you’re enjoying it.” _

_ Mutsuki smiled, even if Urie couldn’t see it. _

_ “Hey, are you gonna come down to visit soon?” Urie asked, as he always did. _

_ “I don’t know,” he replied, always the same. _

_ “I need to tell you something.” _

_ “Tell me now.” _

_ “In-person,” Urie said, his voice flat. Mutsuki sighed. _

Before he knew it, Urie’s arms were around him, making Mutsuki feel arm and safe. He hugged him back.

“Who is it, Uri?” Saiko said from behind them. Urie moved out of the way, revealing Mutsuki. Saiko’s face lit up in pure joy. “Mucchan!” she screamed, making Hsiao jump off the couch. Saiko ran to hug Mutsuki, pulling him into a tight embrace.

Hsiao showed up behind her, flashing a smile at Mutsuki before returning to the couch. He felt at home again, he felt loved. Saiko grabbed his hand and pulled him inside.

“Where’s Aura and Hige?” Mutsuki asked, taking a seat on the couch next to Hsiao.

“Oh, I didn’t tell you? They both moved.” Saiko looked at the time. “Hsiao and I are going out tonight as well.” She looked sad. “Since you’re here, we can cancel-”

“No, don’t do that!” Mutsuki said. “I’ll be here for a while, so it’s okay.” He smiled, looking at Hsiao. Saiko looked at the clock.

“We’re leaving at 7:00,” she said. “It’s 6:30 now, so you’d better be ready.” She lowered her eyes at Hsiao who was, very clearly, not ready. She sighed, picking herself off of the couch and trudging to her room.

Urie, Saiko, and Mutsuki all talked while Hsiao was getting ready. Small talk, like how they’ve been and how work was going. The boring stuff, but it was better than sitting in silence, and they weren’t ready to talk about anything else.

Eventually, Hsiao was ready and they were five minutes late to leave. Saiko and Hsiao hurried out the door, leaving Urie and Mutsuki alone. Silence filled the room, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. It was calming to them both, just being in each other’s presence.

“So,” Mutsuki said, breaking the silence. Urie didn’t even hesitate before he asked.

“Why did it take you so long to visit?” Mutsuki sunk into the couch, but Urie sat at the edge, looking at him with a face he couldn’t read. He shrugged because he didn’t know what else to say.

“I missed you,” Mutsuki said, sitting up slightly.

“Did you? (I missed you too).” Urie rested his elbows on his knees and sighed.

“Don’t. I did, and you know that.” Mutsuki searched for another topic, wracked his brain for something. “What did you want to tell me?” Urie sunk into the couch next to him.

“Huh?” Urie honestly had no idea what he was talking about.

“That one time, a few months ago, we were on the phone. You said you had something to tell me but not until we were in-person.” Mutsuki looked at Urie, and Urie looked back. Their faces were so close Mutsuki swore he could feel Urie’s breath.

He suddenly remembered, and his face turned red. “Oh, yeah.” He sat up. “Tomorrow, okay?” Mutsuki sighed, but he nodded anyway.

“Your room is still empty,” Urie said. Mutsuki smiled.

“Thank god, I was worried I’d have to sleep on the couch.” Urie smiled back.

“It’s probably just going to be us tonight because when Saiko and Hsiao go out, they stay out until about 4:00 in the morning.” Mutsuki laughed, actually laughed, and it felt nice.

Urie turned on the TV, and they sat there watching for a while. Urie didn’t even realize Mutsuki was asleep. Looking at the time, it was already 10:00. He got up to go to sleep himself, but not before covering up Mutsuki with a blanket.

* * *

Urie heard someone scream. He knew he and Mutsuki were the only ones in the house, and that made him jump out of bed and run to the living room. “Mutsuki!”

Mutsuki’s screaming stopped at the sound of his voice, but his crying didn’t. Urie rushed to the couch, pulling Mutsuki to him. He quieted slightly, feeling the warm embrace from Urie made him feel safe.

They sat like that for a while, until Mutsuki quieted completely, sniffling every so often. “Are you okay,” Urie finally asked, and Mutsuki pulled away from him, wiping his eyes.

“Yeah, it was just,” he paused, “a nightmare.”

“Oh,” said Urie, nodding. “Do you wanna… talk about it?” Mutsuki hesitated. “We don’t- I mean- we don’t have to if you don’t want to,” he sputtered.

Mutsuki smiled. “No, it’s okay.” He sat against the back of the couch, thinking about what to say. “I had a nightmare that you- uh- died. I get that nightmare a lot. That and things about my dad. But when it’s you, it’s always the same thing, just in a different place.”

“What happens in them?” Urie asked, a concerned tone in his voice. Mutsuki lolled his head back, as he tried to put his thoughts into words.

“I’m always the one who kills you,” his voice cracked.  _ Because, I’m a monster,  _ he thought.

“Mutsuki,” Urie said, putting a hand on his knee. Mutsuki wanted to cry again, but he didn’t. He knew it wasn’t even that big of a deal, he knew Urie was alive and well. It was the fact that it was always him who did it.

“I’m… I’m okay now,” he said, sighing. He stood up, Urie’s hand sliding off his knee.

“Are you sure?” Urie asked. Mutsuki nodded. They both walked down the hallway, making their way to their rooms. Urie was halfway in his room, about to close the door. “Goodnight,” he said.

“Wait.” He stopped, looking at Mutsuki confused. Mutsuki shut his eyes tight, already regretting what he was about to ask. “Could you… could you stay up with me?” His face flushed red. “Not like that! I- uh… I just mean-”

“Yeah, of course,” Urie interrupted, stepping out of his room and closing the door. Mutsuki looked flustered but nodded.

“Okay, uh- thank you,” he said, giving him a quick smile before he turned around and went into his room.

The room was empty, obviously. But there was still a bed with blankets and pillows, which was good enough. Mutsuki sat on the bed, and he felt it sink when Urie sat next to him.

“I wanted to ask you something,” Mutsuki said. “About the thing you wanted to tell me.” Urie looked away from Mutsuki and out the window.

“I said I’d tell you tomorrow (god, not now),” he said.

“It is tomorrow,” Mutsuki whined. “Come on, the suspense is killing me.” He nudged Urie’s arm with his elbow, making him look at him. His dark eyes were full of… fear? Mutsuki couldn’t tell, but it wasn’t anything exactly good.

Urie sighed. He looked away again, mumbling something that Mutsuki couldn’t hear.

“What?” Mutsuki said, making Urie groan.

“I- (I’m not ready to tell you this) well- (what do I even say?) remember the auction raid?” he finally said. Mutsuki nodded.

“How could I not?” he said, smiling. “I got a hole punched through me.” Urie’s eyebrows lowered.

“I still feel horrible about that,” he said.

“What? Why? That was a long time ago, and I was never even mad at you for it,” Mutsuki shrugged. Urie continued.

“Well, after that happened, things were different. And I didn’t completely hate you... “ he paused, looking at Mutsuki. “We spent more time together and-”

“Urie, what are you trying to tell me?” Mutsuki interrupted. Urie groaned again, but he figured it was better to just get it over with than to continue whatever he was doing. Because Mutsuki wouldn’t guess, he’d make him say it.

“I think - maybe - I might love you. And, you know, not as friends. (That’s an understatement. God, I am madly in love with you.)” Mutsuki felt his face heat up.

“Oh…” he had no idea how to respond to that. Then he just started laughing. Urie gave him a confused look, but Mutsuki continued to laugh.

“That makes me feel so much better,” Mutsuki said. Urie’s eyes widened. “I was worried you didn’t feel the same.”

“The… same? (Do you feel the same?)” Urie’s face was red now, as was Mutsuki’s face.

“Well, yeah. I thought it was obvious.”

“I thought I was obvious,” Urie chuckled. Mutsuki shook his head.

“Now that I think about it…” Urie pushed his arm, and he laughed. Urie and Mutsuki both leaned their heads against the wall behind them. Urie looked at Mutsuki, now realizing how close their faces were to each other.

Mutsuki looked at him too, their face just inches apart. “So, does that mean we’re…?” Mutsuki trailed off, not even needing to finish the sentence. Urie knew what he meant. He shrugged.

“Is that what you want? (I know I do.)” Mutsuki kept his eyes on Urie, not looking away. He noticed Mutsuki was leaning his face closer. Their lips were pretty much touching at this point.

“Mucchan! Uri!” Saiko screamed from the other room. “We’re home!” Mutsuki pulled his head back, his face red.

The door opened, light shined in the dark room from the hallway. “Uh, what are you doing in here, Urie?” Saiko asked, Hsiao right behind her. Mutsuki didn’t know what to say.

“Talking,” Urie spoke up. “Both of us just couldn’t sleep.” Saiko made a silent  _ ohh _ and nodded. Hsiao snorted.

“What?” Mutsuki asked. Hsiao shook her head.

“Nothing,” she said, walking away. Saiko waved at them.

“Well, goodnight,” she said, following behind Hsiao.

Mutsuki and Urie stayed in silence for a while before Urie stood up. “I should probably go to bed. (I want to stay).” he said. Mutsuki nodded, giving him a small smile.

“Okay. Goodnight.” Urie walked out of the room and into his own, crawling into his bed. He sighed. He didn’t know if they were dating or what, but he’d have to talk to him about it tomorrow.

He didn’t sleep much that night.


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning, Urie was greeted by Mutsuki in the kitchen. Saiko wasn’t awake yet. Typical for her, but for the past two years, she had been waking up slightly earlier. Although for her, earlier was 11:00 am instead of 1:00 pm.

Mutsuki smiled at Urie, and he felt as if that one smile melted his heart. “Good morning,” Urie said, sitting at the table. Mutsuki sat across from his, setting a cup of coffee beside him and holding his own in his hands.

He sighed, and Urie knew he wanted to talk about last night. “(Idiot. Damn it, now he’s gonna-)”

“I want to see Kirishima,” Mutsuki said. Urie stiffened at his words. He wanted to see her? He knew Mutsuki hadn’t actually apologized to her for what he had done, but now?

Mutsuki spoke again. “I want you to come with me. If you want to. But I know I need to apologize to her. And Sasa- Kaneki.” Urie nodded slowly.

“I talked to them recently, actually. They wanted to know how you were doing.” Mutsuki almost spat out his coffee.

“They wanted to know how  _ I _ was doing?” Urie nodded. Mutsuki looked away, wrapping his hands around the mug. He felt awful for what he had done. For what he could have done to Touka - to the baby.

“I think we should go. Touka still owns the cafe, :re. We should stop by. You might even be able to meet Ichika.” Urie smiled at him. “She’d love you.”

Mutsuki sighed again. “Yeah… I guess we could do that.” Mutsuki smiled slightly. Urie smiled back, sipping at his coffee.

When they both finished, they headed out to :re. They walked, seeing as it wasn’t too far from the Chateau. The city was, for the most part, back to normal. But there were still many buildings destroyed, showing signs of the Dragon that once plagued Tokyo.

Kaneki did that.

* * *

Mutsuki froze when they got to the door. Urie put a hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay.” Mutsuki reached out a shaky hand and opened the door.

A little girl with white hair was there to greet them. She was small, probably a little older than two years old. “Ah!” she said, beaming at Urie but giving a confused look to Mutsuki.

“Uh, hello,” Mutsuki said awkwardly. Touka walked in, drying a coffee cup and walking over to the entrance.

“Ichika! I told you to stay near Hina-” she stopped when she saw Mutsuki. “Hello.” She smiled at him, and he found himself nervously smiling back. Urie shoved Mutsuki inside, closing the door behind them.

Kaneki appeared behind her. “Urie… Mutsuki?” Urie waved, but Mutsuki was still frozen in fear.

“Uh… I was in town- I just- uh- I wanted to-” he sputtered, paused, and then tried again. “I wanted to talk to you.” Touka nodded.

“I was wondering when you’d come by. Urie wouldn’t stop talking about how-” Urie shot Kaneki a look, and he laughed nervously. “Nevermind. Come on, we can talk in the back. Yomo, watch the shop? Ichika, can you go with Hina and Ayato while we talk with Tooru?”

Ichika looked up at Mutsuki with big, purple eyes, nodded, and did as she was told. Touka led Urie and Mutsuki to the room in the back of the shop, offering them both a cup of coffee.

Touka sat down beside Kaneki as she sighed. “Look, Mutsuki,” she began, making Mutsuki look up with fear in his eyes. Fear, guilt, and regret. “I forgive you. I’m not mad, and neither is Kaneki.”

He was shocked. What? How? He had almost killed them all. He would have. He wanted to.

“B...but… Ichika. And you two- I almost...” He felt tears burning at the corners of his eyes. He was prepared to get yelled at, for Touka to do something horrible to him. Not forgiveness. Even if Urie said they forgave him, he didn’t believe him.

Touka smiled at him, although sad. “I know. But you didn’t. I understand, Mutsuki. I do. I know you acted out of anger, jealousy.” She reached across the table, grabbing Mutsuki’s hands. “I’ve done the same.”

Mutsuki was crying now. Urie wanted to comfort him, but he was just here for moral support. This was between them, and he didn’t want to get in the way of that.

“I’m so... sorry, Touka, Kaneki. I’m sorry to Ichika…” Tears streamed down his face. He broke his hands away from Touka’s covering his face. He didn’t deserve this.

Then he felt the empty space next to him sink down and arms wrapped around him. He didn’t even need to open his eyes to know that it was Touka. She was so warm and the heavy scent of coffee radiated off of her. It was nice, soothing. She was so gentle. This was the woman he almost killed for absolutely no reason. The thought made his tears come stronger, each drop reminding him of what he had done.

But then he remembered Touka, her delicate touch giving him a sense of security. He remembered Urie next to him on the couch as well, the man that he truly… loves…?

Mutsuki pulled away, but not forcefully. Touka’s expression was gentle when Mutsuki looked at her, his dried tears were sticky on his face as he sniffed.

For the first time in a while, he felt content. He felt like a weight had been lifted, and he could finally breathe.

Mutsuki looked at Urie, and Urie felt his heart pound. Mutsuki looked less tense, more relaxed.

After a few more minutes, Mutsuki was ready to leave. Touka hugged him once more, and Kaneki shot him a smile. Ichika even ran over and waved at him. Touka leaned down and whispered something to Ichika.

She looked up at him, and he leaned down to get on her level. She wrapped her tiny arms around him, and Mutsuki felt tears coming back. She let go, Mutsuki stood, and she ran back to Hinami and Ayato.

She turned back. “Bye-bye!” she yelled as she turned the corner. Mutsuki turned to Urie, and they made their way home.

* * *

That night, Urie found Mutsuki on the balcony, looking out at the city. Lights lit up a large portion of it, while patches were still dark. Those were the parts of the city that hadn’t been repaired.

Urie stood beside Mutsuki. “Saiko was wondering where you were,” he said. Mutsuki didn’t look at him.

“Just thinking,” he said. Urie leaned his back against the ledge, facing the opposite direction that Mutsuki was.

“About Kirishima?” Urie asked. Mutsuki nodded, his elbows still resting on the ledge and his hand supporting his head.

“I just don’t understand how she could… you know? It’s… would you have forgiven me for something like that?” Mutsuki finally looked at Urie.

Urie shrugged. “I don’t know. But you didn’t do that to me. Her choice, Kaneki’s choice, was to forgive you. I’d take it if I were you.” Urie turned around to face the city. “I mean, Kaneki’s done things like this,” he said, motioning to the city, “and she still loved him.” Mutsuki closed his eyes.

“I guess so,” he said. Urie looked over to Mutsuki, not even realizing that Mutsuki was looking at him too.

“I’ve been thinking too. Not about Kirishima, but about, uh, last night.” Urie looked away. Mutsuki felt his face heat up.

“Oh,” he said. “Well… what about it?” Urie sighed, and shrugged again.

“(Are we dating? I love you.)” He was silent. Mutsuki chuckled. Urie looked at Mutsuki again, seeing that Mutsuki had gotten closer.

Their lips were just as close as they were last night, and Urie could tell his face was red. A cold hand wrapped around the back of Urie’s neck, sending a shiver down his back. But it was Mutsuki, so he didn’t care.

The hand brought Urie’s face closer to Mutsuki’s until their lips were touching. It wasn’t harsh, simply a brush of his lips over his. It felt nice because despite Mutsuki’s cold hands, his lips were warm.

When they pulled apart, a grin spread over Mutsuki’s face. He brought his hands down from Urie’s neck and to his hands instead.

This was a definite answer, and they both knew it, but Urie wanted to ask anyway. He wanted to be sure.

But he didn’t get to speak. Mutsuki had already answered. “Yeah,” is all he said, and that’s all the answer he needed.

They both walked inside, Mutsuki’s hand in his. “Finally,” Saiko said, rolling her eyes as she turned to Hsiao. “Now Urie can stop constantly talking about-”

“Hey!” Urie barked. Saiko laughed, making Hsiao chuckle.

“So did you two make out?” Hsiao asked. Saiko laughed some more, and Mutsuki just rolled his eyes. Urie looked annoyed but smiled anyway.

The rest of the night was peaceful, disregarding the constant but loving teasing from Hsiao and Saiko. It was nice being there together, as a family. Urie felt happy for the first time in a while, and so did Mutsuki. Because they were together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woah, I had a lot of fun writing this. I hope the people who read it enjoyed! I love these dorks so much, and writing the cheesiness for them just gave me serotonin jfewfeeub thank you for reading!!


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